“The Girlfriend’s Guide to Marriage” is for singles who, while enjoying their current season, want to equip themselves with the tools needed for a marriage that’ll last. For women who want to do all they can to become the best wife to the man that God has ordained for their lives. Whenever we ask God for things, it’s our job to do the work and make room to receive it.
We’ve spoken to several different women in successful marriages about what it takes to be a good wife, and there were some common themes in their answers. So, we decided to compile a guide for single and engaged women to help them journey to the altar and beyond.
Here are the lessons we put together in this girlfriend’s guide to marriage:
Lesson 1: Marriage is selfless.
Marriage is about serving your spouse. Now, this isn’t a bad thing. When you have a healthy marriage, both you and your spouse will put each other first — win-win! Of course, there will be times when you’re not feeling it, and you will work through those moments. But, in general, you should go in with your mindset on serving.
This doesn’t mean that you’ll be waiting on him hand and foot, ladies. This means that you will consistently cover him in prayer for every area of his life (not just your marriage). You’ll support his vision, find ways to help, and stay mindful of his mental, physical, and spiritual needs.
Lesson 2 : Marriage is for the long haul.
Sometimes couples go into marriage with the idea that, hey, if it doesn’t work, we’ll divorce — no big deal. But marriage is supposed to be forever! Take care to really wrap your mind around that because it’s a HUGE commitment. No matter what happens, divorce should not be an option. There are obvious exceptions to this (abuse etc.), but you get the point.
There will be things that come up that test the vows you made, but you have to be determined to fight to keep your marriage. Over time it’ll get easier to choose your battles and move past things quicker. Think about Christ’s marriage with the church. Now, we don’t always do what we’re supposed to do, but can you imagine if God said, “that’s it, I’m done? Where would we be?
Lesson 3: You and your spouse are a team.
Always remember who your true enemy is. When you wage war, fight together instead of fighting against each other.
People go in with pure intentions of being the best partner they can be, but things happen. Forgive quickly because life is too short. Some things only get exposed while in covenant — things that you don’t even know about yourself, so give grace and be patient.
Lesson 4: A couple who prays together, stays together.
Let prayer be your foundation. When things are good, bad, when you don’t know what to do — Pray! Prayer can strengthen your marriage and bring the two of you closer than ever. Building a culture of prayer in your relationship will bring God into the midst and help you love each other deeper. Make this part of your daily routine.
Lesson 5: Honor your spouse.
To honor your spouse means that you value them. You understand what they add to your life, and you’re grateful for the gift they are to you. This is about acknowledgment and appreciation. This gives them more confidence and energy to continue to love you well. Honor your spouse by respecting them, listening to their heart, and putting them first in your life (after God).
Take and glean from The Girlfriend’s Guide to Marriage as you prepare your heart and mind for covenant.
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