Dating as a single parent doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It can be scary at first when you’re trying to determine if someone is the right fit because your decisions will affect your child(ren). But as you continue growing in God, it’ll get easier to use discernment in relationships. The good thing about godly dating is that Christians in general already have many characteristics that you’d look for anyway due to the fruit of the spirit.
Here are 4 tips on dating as a Christian single parent.
Tip #1: Pursue God.
God wants us to pursue Him. He desires for us to find our self-worth and wholeness in Him, and not a spouse. Nothing compares to a man or woman who pursues God and radiates His love and light from the inside out. Jeremiah 31:3 says that “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” This means that you are already loved, fearfully and wonderfully made, and accepted by God. You can rest assured that His love is enough.
Tip #2: Wisdom is the principal thing.
How many times have you dated only to realize later that he or she was wrong for you? As you date, ask God to give you wisdom and show you His perspective to make quality decisions. You can trust God to lead and protect you because He wants the absolute best for you (Proverbs 3:5-6). You have to be open to hearing what He has to say, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Having a Christ-centered perspective is important because our decisions are based on how we see things. Seeing your relationship from God’s vantage point will help you avoid unnecessary issues. After all, God’s goal for dating is for marriage and family. Wisdom and discernment will help you understand if the two of you are meant to be.
Tip #4: Have patience.
The world seems to have a rush mentality on pretty much everything. As Christians, God’s timing is always best because rushing into a relationship will produce half-baked results (Philippians 4:6). When dating, it’s ok to relax and take things slow. Keeping God in the center of your relationship is what will hold you all together later down the line when it gets tough. And understanding your motives for dating will prevent you from jumping in and out of relationships because you’ll be convicted about idolizing marriage. You want to ensure that the person you date has good moral character (encourages and challenges you to walk closer with God, submissive to God, humble, self-controlled, and demonstrates good parenting behaviors).
Tip #4: Set boundaries.
Set a standard before dating about when and how to introduce your kids. Maybe try after dating for 3 months, and then do it in a group setting so that there’s no pressure. Also, keep in mind how many times per week and the number of hours spent dating. Consider limiting yourself so that your kid(s) can witness you dating in a godly way. Not to mention that it would prevent compromising situations. Set the standard early because once you get married, most of the time spent will be within the family setting, and you need to make sure that your future spouse can understand that.
Dating as a single parent can be an awesome learning experience with God. Take time to enjoy and trust God as He leads your life, and have fun dating God’s way!
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