For her…a tall caramel Frappuccino with soy milk; for myself, a venti caramel macchiato. These were the Starbucks orders of my then-girlfriend (who is now my wife) and I. I thought I knew exactly what she would order there.
Fast forward a few years…her order now involves almond milk, caramel drizzles, and some other quirky things while mine has changed to Grande cold-brew based drinks.
I joke with her as I tell her that I feel like I don’t know her anymore. She continues to surprise me with something different almost every time!
Now, this may sound like a stretch, but hear us out. Dating is kind of like this, too.
Every relationship experiences periods of change and adjustment. But then there are moments that pull couples closer together. Either way, we should always seek opportunities to build and improve our relationships.
In addition, we should always strive to have a godly relationship that seeks to put God first.
Could you use a few ways to strengthen your relationship in a way that glorifies God? If so, keep reading:
1. Be willing to learn and practice steadfast love.
As you get to know another person on a more personal level, you began to discover that there is so much to learn about them.
There are some characteristics that change over the years, as subtle as sand dunes under gentle winds. That is one of the things that makes dating and marriage so exciting!
As difficult as it may seem sometimes, dating provides an opportunity to demonstrate one of the actions that God shows towards us each and every day.
As King David puts it, “But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 86:15 ESV). The focus for us is the word steadfast, which also means firm or unwavering.
Love is constant. Love is willing to learn and adapt to the season that the other person may be in. Jesus demonstrates a willingness to love us…
…even though we are not the same person we were five, ten, or even fifteen years ago!
With God, we should also seek to love Him in a steadfast way.
2. Live to please.
We obey the Lord because our obedience is what pleases Him; and we seek to please God out of our love for Him. Continuous obedience should then equate steadfast love!
If you are dating, married or contemplating marriage, then the action of pleasing one another is very broad, but very specific, to each individual and season.
Before learning to please your significant other, you must first learn to please God.
If this is not done first, there could be an unhealthy and unbalanced demonstration of love. We will most likely find ourselves disobeying the Lord.
3. Honor and communicate.
Steadfast love should also lead us to honor one another. In a healthy relationship or marriage, we cannot honor the other person fully and sincerely without love. When we honor someone, we demonstrate utmost respect towards that individual.
This goes for God too…when we obey God, we honor Him. When we honor God, we please Him. When we please God, we love Him.
As we communicate with the Lord in prayer and read His word, we will learn how to truly honor Him.
It is in the communication with our spouse or significant other that will learn how to honor them continuously.
My wife and I have tried to make it a habit to be open about what we do and do not appreciate from one another, concerning an action or behavior. We have used constructive and loving critique, when needed, that has allowed us to grow individually and as a married couple.
We were able to transition from dating and engagement to marriage because of our respect for one another. It is through our communication that we have been able to better understand how to love one another.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”(1 John 4:7)
4. Act.
Having steadfast love for God allows us to demonstrate steadfast love for the person that we claim to love.
Here at Godly Today, we offer many resources that can teach you how to love consistently and intentionally. Soak in as many resources as needed.
But remember: We have to not only have the understanding as to how to love steadfastly, but practice it as well.
Jesus did not only tell us that He loved us, but he acted upon His declaration that that epitomized His love for us!
Whether you are dating, married or contemplating marriage, consider these four ways that can help challenge you to cultivate a Godly relationship.
You are not alone in this journey and we are here to help throughout the way.
