As a single man, I sometimes wrestle with the the thought of being close to a woman. I mean, really, how close is too close? I want to be close, but at the same time, I want to be pure. I definitely do not want to open up doors before they should be open — or even open up a door that was never meant to be open in the first place. For me — and maybe you can relate — this is difficult because I am naturally friendly and enjoy being around people.
So, we want to pose the question: How close is too close?
Now, I could sit here all day long and write out a whole lot of dos and don’ts and give you all the guidelines and boundaries, but the reality is, when there are rules in place, we usually find ways around them or even reasons to break them. I can say all day long: Do not kiss a girl while you are single, but I’m a man, and I get it. I know that’ll only make you want to rebel. It’s always the forbidden fruit that we desire the most.
When I think about somebody being close enough to kiss me, I think, “What caused her to get to that place? And what did I do to make her feel comfortable enough to get there?”
Here is a real situation: I was planning on going to Bible study one night. Earlier in the day, I had a meeting with a female friend of mine to discuss some ministry events. After the meeting, I simply invited her to the Bible study. She politely asked if she could ride with me to the Bible study. Since I didn’t really see an issue with it, I agreed.
That night, as we were on our way, we were having regular conversations (nothing inappropriate) when suddenly, I got this feeling. It was a feeling of conviction. And I thought to myself, “why do I feel this way?” The thought that came immediately after was, “to whom are you accountable?” I knew right at that moment that I was too close — maybe not too close to a person, but to close to temptation.
Close is not about physical boundaries, because you can set rules and regulations all day for that. Too close is simply being in a place where you are not held accountable for your actions. That night, I realized that I jeopardized my purity. I put too much trust in my own flesh.
James 1: 14-15 says,“Temptation comes from our own desires which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow it gives birth to death.”
How close is too close? Too close is the moment you stop being accountable to someone stronger than you are, and trust your flesh more than you trust accountability.
