The idea of marriage sounds amazing and romantic — until it’s time for the two to become ONE.
The Bible says in Mark 10:6-9, “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife. And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together let no man put asunder.”
Oftentimes we neglect to separate completely early on in our marriage, but it isn’t always easy to tell when we haven’t.
Two heads are not always better than one!
It might sound odd, but this can be toxic in relationships. Becoming one is about more than having sex, it’s about aligning with God’s plan for your union.
You cannot come into marriage without having an honest conversation with your spouse about where God is leading the two of you. You have to discuss what vision He has placed in each of your hearts and how to merge them so that you can move forward together.
Many times there is a lack of unity in marriage because not enough attention was given to alignment.
What does it mean to cleave?
For men, it’s about taking your place as the head and leader of your family. In order to lead your bride as Christ does the church, you need to let go of your parents, step up, and take responsibility as a man. This will reassure your wife and let her know that she can trust you.
For women, it’s about learning to submit to your husband. This is why it is imperative for you to have a good support system during your dating season. Accountability partners and counseling goes a long way in making sure you have the right one. When you do, the transition won’t be as hard.
Here are 5 simple ways that you two can become one.
1. Read the Bible: Study the Word of God concerning marriage to understand the roles of both husband and wife.
2. Pray together: Ask God to help guide you through the process of becoming one. Be honest with Him about the challenges or resistance you’re feeling.
3. Keep issues in-house: Talk to each other about problems FIRST. Involving family and friends in every disagreement can be destructive to your marriage. Keeping things private will strengthen your bond and help you learn to resolve conflicts.
4. Put your spouse first: You are in covenant with ONE person, and they come before anybody else in your life at this point. It can be hard when issues pop up between your spouse and your family but don’t forget that you’re on the same team.
5. Have mercy: In marriage, when two become one, you’re essentially bringing two worlds together. This takes time and requires a lot of grace and mercy. You both have histories and unique ways of doing things, so be patient with each other during this transition.
For more like this, download our free ebook “5 Stages of a Relationship Done God’s Way.”
