Have you ever been dating a guy and then out of the blue, he up and disappears? Leaving you to wonder, “What did I do wrong?” Well, if so ladies, you’re probably doing one of the 10 things on the following list and scaring him off! It’s okay we live and learn, and now you’ll know better for next time.
1. Investing beyond the relationship status.
Sis, stop doing the most… God created women to be a help mate and so, when we like a man we naturally go into helper mode. But, this will definitely scare him away! You have to be realistic and try not to let your excitement make you take things too far, especially early on in a relationship.
It’s also important to note that if there hasn’t been any conversation about where things are headed — even after a few months,, don’t get your hopes up. He might not be ready for anything more than friendship.
2. Prematurely discussing the future.
When you’re getting to know a great guy it can be tempting to think about the possibilities of things working out. You might be eager to introduce him to your friends and family or meet his, but you’re scaring him sis. You have to give the relationship time before you can determine if this person should come any further into your life.
Make sure that you are being sober-minded and honest with yourself and allow him to lead the relationship. If he isn’t taking initiative, that may be a red flag and you should probably reconsider your feelings.
3. The “independent woman syndrome.”
While it’s important to have yourself together ladies, sometimes our conversation can come across like we don’t need anyone or anything. Now, there is nothing wrong with being accomplished! That’s probably part of the reason he found you attractive, however most men like to feel useful to their significant other.
So, just keep in mind that one day your life will have to be merged with the man you marry. Your husband is not an accessory or another accomplishment, he will be your partner. Be sure to make room for him.
4. You’re too insensitive.
Many times without realizing it, we let life harden us and we become harsh and insensitive. There are probably some deep-seeded reasons for this but, most men want the balance that comes from our feminine energy. So don’t be afraid to relax in his presence and be your beautiful self. If you’re on a date and the waitress get’s your order wrong, don’t go off. Handle every situation with class and poise.
5. Talking about marriage.
Ladies, you might be scaring him off by bringing up marriage too soon. Yes we’re Christians and we date with purpose, but let things develop naturally. If you notice that early on in dating you’re already thinking about marriage, it could be a sign that you’re not ready yet. The last thing you want to do is rush into a life long commitment for the wrong reasons.
6. Discussing life’s problems too early.
Okay now we all have a few problems, but please don’t over share. When you’re still getting to know someone, it’s not a good idea to air your dirty laundry. Just stop because you’re scaring him! Now, you don’t want to be dishonest or mislead anyone but use wisdom to know when to tell your personal business to someone you’re dating. And, you can always ask a trusted friend or leader if you’re not sure.
7. Un-closed doors
If you are still hung up on your ex, please don’t start dating someone new. It’s so unfair to drag someone’s heart into your unresolved drama. Take your time to heal before you move on because you don’t want to lead anyone on. And, when you do get back out there after a rough break up, be clear and tell him that you’re only interested in building friendship. Be upfront and give him the option to deal with it or not.
8. No career plans or goals.
Maybe your scaring him off because you’re more concerned with dating and marriage than your own future. Everyone should have a personal vision for their life. If you haven’t quite figured yours out yet, that’s okay but maybe you should keep everyone in the friend zone for now.
9.Talking about other men.
Unless he asks, you should avoid giving too many details about your past relationships. Now, if it’s relevant to the conversation you’re having, that’s understandable. But, it’s a bit awkward when you go on and on about the great guys who have come and gone. Just treat him how you want to be treated. Be honest, you know you don’t want to hear too much about his exes, do you?
10.You’re super clingy.
Even in marriage, clinginess is unattractive — on both sides. Women tend to be more emotional and affectionate but make sure that you’re not constantly all over him! It’s important to give each other breathing room throughout the relationship.
Next time you’re dating a great guy, keep these 10 things in the back of your mind so that you don’t scare him off.
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