You’ve heard it before: 1 Peter 3:3-4. “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.” We hold the Bible as true in every sense of the word, but this explanation of how a woman should dress only touches on one aspect of appearance (for we are God’s handiwork, Ephesians 2:10). What else does God say about beauty?
As women, we are designed to reveal a unique beauty — a facet of God that nothing else in creation displays quite like we do. But, how do we seek the Kingdom first, while maintaining our femininity and reveling in our God-given beauty? And how do we do this gracefully, especially as single women, in the world but not of it?
It’s an unfortunate misconstruction that the enemy — often by way of the church, when it falls victim to legalism — that as single women, our role is to make ourselves homely, unseen, and silent.
This is Satan’s greatest feat: when he makes one of us, a Daughter of the Most High God, ashamed of our desire to be beautiful and powerful in our femininity.
We are here to tell you, sister, that God has another plan much greater for you. He is much too extravagant, and much too beautiful himself, to call you to a season of singleness marked by anything less than abundance, joy and peace beyond human comprehension, as we have the honor to learn the character and heart of God before we are so blessed to learn those of a man.
John and Stasi Eldredge, co-founders of the Ransomed Heart Ministries in Colorado Springs, put it perfectly in their book, Captivating: “[Woman] is God’s final touch … she fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill … say to yourselves, ‘The whole, vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me.”
How’s that for encouraging and empowering? Girl, if you haven’t been stirred even a little bit yet, let’s keep going. You’re worth it. The Eldredges continue …
“But in order to make the matter perfectly clear, God has given us Eve. The crowning touch of creation. Beauty is the essence of a woman. We want to be perfectly clear that we mean both a physical beauty and a soulful/spiritual beauty. The one depends upon and flows out of the other. Yes, the world cheapens and prostitutes beauty … But Christians minimize it, too.”
We, as women, are all Eve — the crowning glory of God’s creation. He did not intend for us to downplay or hide or even fear our own beauty …
… but to glorify Him because of it.
This is for us, single sisters, especially now. This season before courtship, though tender and confusing and downright painful at times, is worthy of celebration; we have the honor of giving every ounce of our affection and adoration to Jesus — our faithful pursuer, our first love, our bridegroom.
Psalm 90:12 is our prayer over you in this season: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Let us pray that, in these weeks, months, or years of singleness, we understand God’s love for us so much more, and that we have eyes to see ourselves through His eyes — with nothing but absolute, outlandish, scandalous love.
Let’s walk through a few practicals, in the hopes that you have so far been stirred to believe, even if only a little bit more, in your womanly beauty. As single women, we must take great care to do the following three things:
Look to God, first and foremost, to reaffirm your identity. Just because we are His children does not mean we will never face insecurity or loneliness, for it is a constant battle that we fight against the forces of Hell. We cannot look to validation from “Adam” — or man — before we look for validation from God.
This often manifests in how we portray ourselves on social media, or how we dress. Wear what makes you feel like “you”, but don’t do it for the lustful attention. Remember, you are beautiful because God says so — before any flattering comment (on IG or IRL).
Invest time in the things you love, that make your heart come alive. 1 Samuel 16:7 says: “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Aligning your heart with God’s purpose for your life is the most beautiful thing you can do, for walking in your purpose, and seeking Him for clarity and identity, is an eternal beauty.
Show yourself some grace. If you’re reading this, you likely loves Jesus. Praise! You are probably selfless, humble, kind, gracious, and forgiving. You probably serve the Lord, and others, constantly. Maybe you’re tired and you don’t take care of yourself. Today’s the day to do it.
Go to bed early. Sleep is good for the soul and the body. Meet girlfriends for a manicure. Community — and fresh nails — are also good for the soul and the body. Can we get an “amen”?
God cares about the details of your life — He is the one that numbered the very hairs on your end (Luke 12:7). He is a craftsman, an artist, perfect in His creation and His presentation. The Creator took time to create you beautifully and wonderfully.
He was intentional in stitching together every facet of your being; He made you out of and for His delight. God appreciates your beauty, Daughter, because God is beauty, and you — a walking pocket of heaven on earth — reflect His heavenly image.
