There are so many different ideologies on relationships within the Christian community, but we can all agree that godly dating must include establishing boundaries.
This is crucial for both parties. Boundaries keep us out of dysfunction and protect us from unnecessary problems. It’s important to set rules and hold ourselves accountable so that we don’t compromise each other’s integrity.
If we think back to all of the unhealthy relationships we’ve had, more than likely there was a lack of boundaries that led to our emotional distress. So, be sure to communicate your standards upfront, that way you’ll avoid the heartache later.
Take these 3 steps when establishing boundaries.
Step 1: Never date alone!
Early on in relationships, we’re more vulnerable to infatuation. That emotional high can cloud our judgment when we should be sober-minded.
Because of this, we need accountability partners and a support system that can keep us level-headed when we’re too excited to think clearly. Keep in mind that, in order for accountability to be effective, you have to be honest and transparent.
Lastly, remember that your accountability partners have to be straightforward with you. Choose people that you know and trust to tell you the truth. They should be committed to seeing God’s will done in your life.
Step 2: Establish your own rules and parameters before you start dating.
Consider what physical boundaries should be in place so that you don’t fall into sin. You have to know your limits and what you can handle. Some people prefer not to touch at all, while others may be okay with holding hands or greeting with a hug.
Also, consider your emotional boundaries. You have to decide how much of your heart to share and when it’s appropriate. Maybe you would rather not get too deep until you’ve been dating a few months. There’s no right or wrong answer, whatever works best for you.
Opening yourself up too soon may lead to insecurity if the relationship ends. Now, you don’t need to go in it with the end in mind — but it’s important to accept the fact that breakups do happen.
Step 3: Keep God first.
Dating will and should increase your prayer life. There is nothing we can do to make the wrong person become the right person. Think about setting spiritual boundaries in your relationship to be sure that you’re in God’s will.
An example of this might be that you pray together after dates, or maybe you pray for a few days before your first date. Another idea could be that after a few weeks of dating if things are going well, you introduce them to your pastor.
You don’t have to start counseling at this point, but you could just ask your leaders to pray for you and glean any wisdom they may want to offer.
So, let’s work on being more intentional about establishing boundaries to prevent relational dysfunction and heartache.
For more like this, download our free ebook, “5 Stages of a Relationship Done God’s Way“
