Newlyweds often can’t wait to start their family. The thought of having little ones running around seems idyllic, but then they realize that life after kids can leave you tired and missing your spouse.
You know how that old saying goes. First comes love, then comes marriage…. now we miss the life we had before we were parents. Well, something like that.
The key here is finding a balance between the demands of family life and making time to just be yourselves. If this is you, and it’s been a while since you’ve made your marriage a priority, it’s okay. Together you two can turn this around, it’ll just take a little more effort and planning.
When life after kids has you missing your spouse, try these quick tips.
Plan to start dating again!
Talk to your spouse about how you’re feeling and plan one day a week or maybe two days per month when the two of you can be alone and reconnect. Try to be as consistent as possible to break up the monotony of your daily routine. Date nights can go a long way in strengthening and refreshing your marriage.
Find a babysitter you trust.
Reach out to that person you brushed off when they offered to watch the kids or find out if your daycare offers ‘parent night out’ services. They even have reputable apps now where you can find nanny’s in your area — but of course, be sure to do your research and be led by the Spirit!
Plan your budget.
Your date doesn’t have to be expensive but remember, it’s an investment! Not only do you need to pay your sitter, you and your spouse may also need to do a little self-care to get ready. Life after kids can cause you to neglect your appearance, so this is a nice incentive for you to get your groove back. If your husband wants a fresh haircut or your wife wants her nails done, budgeting is something to consider. But, this time with your spouse will be priceless!
Plan your date night activity/event.
Don’t overthink it, this doesn’t have to break the bank. Check out Eventbrite, go to an art exhibit, or try out a new restaurant. Having plans in advance will give you both something to look forward to and build your anticipation.
Pray and Go.
It’s understandable if you’re dealing with a bit of separation anxiety. Listen, those are your babies — we get it! But, it’ll be easier to get over this separation anxiety than a divorce if you don’t prioritize the health of your marriage. So, GO HAVE FUN!
Life after kids can be challenging, but you shouldn’t be missing your spouse. As a married couple, your first priority is devotion to God, next is your spouse then your children. When you keep these in order, you’ll see the fullness of what God has for you in your marriage and family.
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