They say that in relationships, opposites attract. And most of the time these differences create a sort of yin yang harmony, but what about when you have opposing financial habits? How can newlyweds work to become one financially?
We all have our own way of doing things. The way we like to communicate, spend our free time, even the way we hang our toilet paper roll (btw, it should be over not under). All of our little idiosyncrasies are challenged when we move in with our new spouse and begin merging lives. But, this is perfectly normal!
Money is one of those things that can get complicated if we don’t tackle it early on. Most people’s financial personality would fall into one of two categories, spender or saver. But not all of us are aware of where we fall between the two. Marriage has a funny way of uncovering things we didn’t know about ourselves, and money management is one of them.
When you first start dating it can be awkward bringing up money because you don’t want to seem intrusive, but this is definitely something that should be discussed. If you and your partner have different spending habits it can be challenging, but it’s not impossible to overcome.
Here are 3 tips on how to become one financially.
Tip #1: Identify your differences.
This step is very important. You and your spouse have to talk and get everything out in the open. If you think hiring a counselor might help, that can also be a great way to start the conversation. Just remember when you do sit down, that you two are on the same team and this is not about placing blame.
Finding the reasons behind why we do the things we do is a key factor when we’re trying to change our habits. Once you have a better understanding of your spouse and their financial personality, you can find ways to compliment each other. The saver can help the spender to put money away, and the spender can encourage the saver to enjoy themselves a little more.
Tip #2: Develop financial goals.
Setting goals together is a great way to become one financially. Maybe you’d like to buy a house, go on a vacation, or build up an emergency fund. Whatever the case, establishing these goals will give you and your spouse a focus point. This will help the saver to know that things are on track and ease their mind about security. Additionally, setting financial goals will help the spender to know their limits and give them a sense of accountability. It’s a win win!
Tip #3: Set a budget.
Now that you’ve identified your differences and set some goals, it’s time to put everything into action with a household budget. Dave Ramsey suggests having a monthly budget but if it helps, you can also plan your budget bi-weekly or whenever you get paid.
Budgeting can be a little intimidating to the spender, so saver’s be gentle. Remember, you’re trying to become one financially, not control each other. Look at it as a way to help the two of you facilitate your spending and saving habits by providing boundaries.
Lastly, keep in mind that this is a process. You may have to work at it a while before you get things right, but be gracious with each other. It will get easier with time.
Click here to subscribe to our podcast, Becoming the One, for more content on wholeness, relationships, and more!
