A lot of us have read — or at least heard — the story of Ruth. She comes up a lot as an example for the ways in which single women should remain faithful in the waiting for our husbands. Ruth had been found by her husband, Boaz, and was given much favor from him. Ruth’s mother-in-law, and a relative to Boaz, Naomi, knew the Jewish custom and instructed Ruth to lay at Boaz’ feet as a sign of subjection to him as her next of kin.
It was not an act of seduction but an act of obedience to a foreign custom to preserve her deceased husband’s name and memory. She could have acted inappropriately with Boaz, but she innocently laid at his feet. Boaz, being the honorable man that he was, sent her on her way with his word that he would be her redeemer. Ruth was a virtuous woman; she was praised and complimented by Boaz. He respected her and was eager to be her husband.
Ruth 3:11-13 : “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character. Although it is true that I am a guardian-redeemer of our family, there is another who is more closely related than I. Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to do his duty as your guardian-redeemer, good; let him redeem you. But if he is not willing, as surely as the Lord lives I will do it. Lie here until morning.”
The customs of this biblical time may seem hard to understand but the temptations that they faced are not anything foreign. Ruth’s husband died and she was a single woman living with her mother-in-law. I am sure she longed to have a warm body next to her every night. I am sure Boaz was attracted to this beautiful young woman. There had to be some restraint taken at that moment that he realized she was laying at his feet. They waited until they were married to show their love to each other.
Studies show that 95% of people under age 44 have had sex before marriage. They concluded that almost all Americans have had sex before marriage. And, unfortunately, this isn’t a surprising statistic. Abstaining from sexual intercourse is not the norm in our culture.
Being sexual and sensual is praised these days. We are bombarded with images, songs, hot topics, and news about celebrities and their sexy lifestyles. If you want to be one of the 5%, you have to know your redeemer Jesus. I’m talking about a true relationship! If you happen to be in the 95%, it is not too late for you. The Lord can and will redeem you.
My husband and I were of the 95% but had decided to wait until we were married to have sex again. We did not want to give room to the enemy in our relationship. Thank the Lord we were engaged for only nine months because it was difficult, especially since we were not virgins. It was worth it — nothing can compare to sex blessed by God.
Maintaining your purity will be hard, but it is not impossible. The consequences of premarital sex are emotionally, physically, and spiritually damaging. Believe me, even though redemption is always waiting, I could have done without the purging process of those sexual encounters. Here are six ways to help you stay pure:
1. Be on guard. Turn off those songs, stop watching that movie, don’t take a second look, and stop that conversation and text. You know will know to “shut it down” when you feel conviction or uncomfortable. Do not ignore those feelings because these actions will plant seeds of impure thoughts in your mind and heart.
2. Get up and GO HOME. Don’t linger over his/her house too long. You know when you are feeling “some kind of way” so this is the time when you should leave.
3. Call on a friend. Have someone you can talk to and confide in when you need encouragement or support.
4. Get involved. Occupy your down time by doing activities that you love. Have fun while you are single! Go on that trip, enroll in that class, go to that festival, and enjoy life.
5. Develop your relationship with God. Be honest with God and cultivate your unique relationship. Pray, study, cry, scream, sing, and laugh during your intimate time with the Lord. Just let go! He is our first love. This blessed me during my purging stage. I was open with Him and to Him.
6. Tell yourself “It’s not worth it!” One night of counterfeit passion is not worth causing distance between you and Jesus, ruining your relationship with your partner, and sinning against your body. He created this beautiful act of love for marriage and He wants you to experience it His way.
