We know that the dating phase often lasts much longer than we’d like it to, but rushing into marriage without pre-marital counseling is a HUGE mistake. Yes, It can be difficult to hold things up, especially for a “mere formality.” However, you’ll be glad you did when you’re confronted with challenges that your counseling prepared you for. Plus, pre-marital counseling has so much more to offer.
Unfortunately, counseling gets a bad rep because it’s looked at as a conflict management solution. And, while it definitely can be, it’s also a preventative measure. It’s a way to get ahead of potential conflicts and create a plan to navigate through them. Many couples feel that whatever happens, they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it, but why cross a bridge when you can fly?
Here are a few reasons you shouldn’t skip pre-marital counseling:
Pre-marital counseling helps couples communicate better and start working as a team.
Think of this as the vision board of your marriage — it’s your opportunity to draw the blueprint. All of your dreams, where you want to go, what you want to build, etc. And, it’s also a good opportunity to take a step away from the wedding plans to focus on the two of you (which is what this whole wedding thing is about, right?) Don’t let the wedding plans stop you from investing in your relationship and future together.
Pre-marital counseling will help you to define realistic expectations.
Many couples enter into marriage with a picture in their mind of how they want things to go. How the two of them will interact, who will do what, when they’ll have kids, etc. And no, there’s nothing wrong with having a vision for your life, but it may not look exactly the way you thought it would. So, you’ll want to be prepared for reality. If not, you could end up getting a divorce because your spouse is not living up to your ideals.
You shouldn’t skip pre-marital counseling because you’re NOT perfect!
No matter how healthy your relationship is, EVERYONE has something they could work on. Whether it is managing money, being considerate, or communicating, counseling is a good way to help identify those areas of improvement. Having a third-party counselor or mentor brings an objective perspective to the equation. They can point out and recognize things about your relationship that you may not be able to see. They also help facilitate the resolution process.
Pre-marital counseling brings up situations you wouldn’t think to discuss BEFORE they’re an issue.
There are a lot of things we don’t consider until they’re right in front of us. For example, how much time do either of you want to spend with family or alone? Even if you like your in-laws, you might not care to be with them every weekend or holiday. Same with money or roles in the home. Do you expect your wife to cook every meal? Do you expect your husband to pay for everything? When you become one, the smaller details in life are magnified. So, you’ll want to have an understanding going in.
Finding love and happiness is the goal, but when you do, make sure that you use wisdom to protect it.
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