There are so many articles, blogs, and advice out there for people who are ready to get into a relationship, but what about everyone else? Some singles are focused on self-work and wholeness, which is a great step to take towards marriage. If you know you want to be married one day but right now you’re not ready for a relationship, this is for you!
It can be healthy to take a break from dating to focus on your own healing and deliverance — that’s what we recommend at TOU. But, we also want to make sure you’re not self-sabotaging. Sometimes we mistake caution for stagnation, and if you’re going to marry eventually, you’ll have to get out of negative mindsets. We’re not trying to make you feel pressured or rushed. We believe It’s better for you to take your time then to get involved before you’re ready. This is just something to consider.
For those of us who grew up without a healthy example of marriage or relationships, there may be some underlying resistance to address. Each of us have a unique story and because of what we’ve experienced, we have different hurdles to jump. The good news is that it can be done. The fact that we can see it and acknowledge it, means we can overcome it.
Here are a few of the mindsets we need to confront in order to get ready for a relationship.
Fear
This is one of the biggest reasons why people stay away from relationships. Fear of rejection, fear of exposure, or even fear of accountability. But, the only way to conquer fear is by doing whatever it is that you’re afraid of. Yes, of course you have to make sure you’re in a healthy place before dating, but don’t allow fear to hold you back.
Insecurities
We’ve all got them. Maybe you’re insecure about your appearance, your finances, or maybe your past, that is completely normal. But, don’t let these things make you feel less valuable or worthy of love, because everyone is working on something Take some time while you’re single to build your confidence and full embrace who you are.
Broken Heart
You might not be ready for a relationship because you’ve been hurt before. This is definitely one of the most painful things we go through. Giving your time and your love to someone who leaves, is rough. Taking time after a break up is a must, but don’t let it keep you down. There’s someone out there who will be everything you hoped and prayed for. Never allow your past to hinder your future, close the door and keep moving!
Parent Wounds
Maybe your parents weren’t financially stable, maybe dad or mom wasn’t there, or maybe there some sort of abuse. Whatever it is, forgive your parents for what they did or didn’t do and move on. You have your own path and with God, you can overcome those old childhood wounds. Also, don’t be afraid to go to therapy and talk it out! Whatever helps you to move forward, do it.
We’ve all got some areas that we need to improve in, but you can’t wait for the perfect scenario to be convinced that you’re ready for a relationship. Yes, get the healing you need and grow in every way possible, but don’t ever hold yourself back from what God wants to do in your life.
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