Today’s society is seeing a positive shift when it comes to mental health awareness — especially in relationships. Most couples would agree that the ability to manage your emotions impacts the peace in your marriage.
Social-emotional learning is a process that teaches us the skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, extend empathy to others, and develop and maintain positive relationships. These components can also help us to pursue peace in our marriages!
We all know how mismanaged emotions can turn out when we fail to process them well. But, we can interrupt this domino effect by intentionally pursuing peace.
When God created us, he knew that we would always be imperfect human beings who are vulnerable to being enslaved by our emotions. But, His word provides us with strategies to handle any emotion that surfaces.
Here are four practical coping skills that can help us pursue peace in marriage:
1. Deep Breathing
Deep breaths give us the opportunity to clear our heads and communicate in a healthier way. Taking intentional breaths also help us to be still before responding, and reminds us to let go of things outside of our control and focus on what’s important.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
2. Visualization Techniques
There are two ways that our minds can use visualization to pursue peace in a moment of discord. First, by considering how different responses might play out. Secondly, by actually picturing a peaceful place and guiding ourselves into mental serenity.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
3. Problem/Response Rating Scale
We can mentally scale our problems and find a reaction that is appropriate. The biggest advantage to the problem/response rating scale is that it helps us to keep perspective. God’s word reminds us that everything is temporary. We have to choose our battles, rate our problems, and respond in a way that shows we recognize the temporary nature of the argument.
“As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer.” (Psalm 103:15-16)
4. Activity Scheduling
Activity scheduling is typically used to help people who are struggling with depression but, this technique can also be a healthy and proactive way to pursue peace in our marriages. It gives us something to look forward to and helps us break out of the daily routine. So, plan that trip or weekend activity, and don’t let the enemy rob you of your peace!
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Remember that God is a God of peace. When discord and confusion try to creep in, we need to bring our flesh in submission to His will and instructions.
“For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)
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