Let’s talk about sex, baby!
But for real, we need to have a conversation. Something that always leaves us perplexed is how quiet believers are when it comes to sex.
In many churches, conversations surrounding sex and sexual purity are non-existent. We believe sex is a GOD thing and it is beautiful in its proper context!
Picture this: You’re sitting by the lake minding your own business, when, all of a sudden, someone jogs by who you find attractive. You start to think very intently about their physical attributes and before you know it, your mind begins to wander … WHOA hold up; bring it back! *snaps fingers*
Let’s be honest, as a single Christian, moments like this happen in which our mind wanders or we’re in an actual real-time situation that we may need to get out of — and stat!
We have so many systems in place to manage our lives. We have a calendar to keep track of our schedule. We have alarms that annoyingly let us know when its to wake up. We keep emergency funds in our bank account in case something happens with our finances.
But how often do we put a system in place for when our natural desires begin to rise up? What do we do when we find ourselves in those situations that have the potential to compromise our purity?
The worst thing we can to do is be in a position to fall and get caught slipping with no systems in place to help us. While this may vary from person to person, here are three steps that we feel are important to implement to help stay pure.
1. Address your thought life.
What are you thinking about? Does your mind often wonder into the land of desire?
We have to learn how control our thought life; as soon as you begin to think about anything that would entice you, you need to have thoughts that replace it.
Now some might say, “Oh, it’s fine, I’m just thinking about it, what’s the harm in that?” But the Bible says “So a man thinketh, so is he.” If the Bible addresses our thoughts, how important do you think it is that we try our best to keep them right before God?
One of our favorite scriptures is Phillipians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”
2. Ask others to hold you accountable.
We cannot stress this enough! Never underestimate the power of accountability.
Having people around you who support and are trying to live pure lives as well is so important.
Who is the person you can call when you’re having a moment to point you back to God? Who is the person you allow to get all in your business and ask you about anything and you can be honest with them?
Whether its a mentor or friend, this is important — not only when it comes to purity, but life in general. This is a relationship where you don’t hold any punches, where the idea is that “my business is your business” when it comes to your soul!
Within community, we can correct in love and we aren’t afraid to ask real questions and give real transparent answers.
If you don’t have people like this in your life, we pray God sends them and you should begin to pray and ask God to bring them too.
3. Care to maintain right relationships.
We believe the relationships we develop are apart of our system when it comes to purity.
If you’re dating someone who doesn’t value purity in the way you do, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
We once heard a story from a pastor about his engagement season: When he or his wife were “feeling a little too strongly toward the other,” they would immediately throw up their boundary lines; sometimes it was her, sometimes it was him, but the point is that they both valued purity and made sure to uphold their standard even in moments of heat.
Having the right friends around you is important too. What would it be like if everyone had the disposition that, even when they saw a friend operating outside of God’s plan, their response was, “That ain’t my business, that’s on them.”
Say what?
Now we don’t condone just getting in strangers business and trying to tell them what to do, but if it’s someone you’re close to and call a brother or sister in the faith, don’t just stand by and not speak up. They may not listen, but at least you had a goal of pointing them back to God.
These are just three ways to maintain purity, and all of these things should be coupled with prayer, studying of the word and the renewing of our minds.
The most important thing is to have a real authentic relationship with Jesus. When you’re in relationship with someone, you don’t want to do anything that hurts them.
We view God as Abba (Father) and just like we don’t like to disappoint our natural fathers or father figures, we should strive everyday not to disappoint God when it comes to our sexual purity.
You don’t have to walk this thing out alone. There are people and tools you can use to take it day by day and we believe you can do it — especially since you have God on your side!
