Pride can be operational in any relationship, but how do we identify it and correct it as to build a functional relationship?
Pride is something a lot of us struggle to or fail to admit as being active in our lives …
Before we speak about pride in the context of a relationship, it is essential to be able to do some introspection as an individual first and foremost, only because we cannot create a garden with unhealthy seeds and weeds everywhere.
Part of our responsibility in the “single years” is to cultivate ourselves into the best version of ourselves, before anyone comes into our life. Often, relationships fail to work out because the individuals were too much in a rush to sort through some key personal issues.
One of the most significant — and detrimental — of these is pride, and thought a companions job was to “fix” them or serve as a substitute for not having to deal with those issues.
An example of pride is a failure to acknowledge imperfections in ourselves … and if we cannot bring ourselves to admit that sometimes we miss it and make mistakes, we may be operating in pride.
Now this is something that is not uncommon in relationships; a lot of couples fail because the entire relationship is built on, “I told you I was right” or “so what if I was wrong.”
Confessing our shortcomings and mistakes is a major foundational brick that needs to be laid down correctly in order to build soundly.
Operating in pride can also be seen in our character, how people carry themselves and how we treat others, examples being;
- Anger when approached regarding ones’ mistakes
- Arrogance and egotistical behavior
- Vanity or conceit
- Puffed up, intellectual/demeanor of superiority
- Unwilling to apologize
- Unwilling to change
- Unwilling to admit wrongs
- Stubbornness
- Selfishness
It’s quite easy to see why having pride in the relationship coming from either one in the relationship can be exhausting and frustrating.
As a couple, we should be able to talk about each other’s flaws, strengthen what is weak and build on what is strong.
Ways to overcome pride as a couple is to admit that some areas need work and to work through them gradually.
Never force anyone to do anything they do not want to do, it only makes things worse. Patience is going to place a vital role in this process, and we may even need to get some deliverance from pride.
Pride is not only destructive to an individual it is damaging to everything around them. Pride has been around for a long time, and we are too weak to face it without the help of God. We need to submit ourselves under God to experience victory in this area.
If we look at Job 41:8 it talks about a creature known as Leviathan, the king of pride, and tells us how to never get into strife with a proud person, because pride will cause you to argue and fight over the smallest things.
Fasting is also necessary for dealing with pride because through fasting we humble the soul as Psalms 35:15 tells us. It helps break the power of pride. As a couple learning how to pray for each other and fasting together will help keep the relationship on stable ground and also help keep pride out of it.
Overcoming pride is something I felt the need to share because ironically pride is something we do not like to admit.
But I can assure you that overcoming this obstacle with your partner is going to make the journey more pleasant and also help form a strong foundation for effective communication that does not have to result in arguments or consistent fighting.
Remember that a relationship is a two-way street, and pride is not something only one person in the relationship needs to fight, it is a team effort that requires a lot of openness and humility to acknowledge.
