Ok so, you’ve completed TOU, read all of the books, prayed, and everything else you could think of to prepare for a healthy marriage… But, now that you’re actually in it, you’re completely lost. So many couples who thought they were ready find out that they’ve barely scratched the surface. Unfortunately, there are just some things you’ll only learn AFTER marriage.
It’s almost like on-the-job training. It’s the best way to learn, and yet it is the most challenging. You started with confidence and high hopes, then ended up realizing you have a long way to go. Now that you’re married, you begin to understand the true meaning of words you thought were “cute” while dating. You’re getting a front row seat to life lessons you have to live to learn.
Remember when the older married couples told you that marriage is hard work? You thought that you had all the answers. You thought to yourself, “Me and my fiancée are best friends, we’re soulmates — we got this.” Then when things get tough, you start to question everything you thought you knew about marriage. And now what they said makes a lot more sense.
Here are 5 things you will only learn after marriage.
1. Covenant.
We’re taught covenant in church, but it takes on a whole other meaning after marriage. It’s not merely a spoken agreement between two people. There’s something about saying “I do” that seals the deal. The idea of forever settles in your mind, and it can be a lot of pressure. You start to question yourself and your ability to hold up your end because covenant is so real. But don’t worry if you’re feeling this way, it’s perfectly normal. It means you’re starting to grasp the concept of marriage.
2. Bond.
Scripture says a man will leave his family and cleave to his wife. No more of the “bro’s before….or blood is thicker than water.” Your spouse comes before everyone but God. The bond you form in marriage really is supernatural. It’s something felt that requires trust. But it’s a beautiful oneness that we have to learn to get used to.
3. Security.
After marriage, there is a sense of emotional security that you don’t feel while dating. This is one of the easier lessons because it feels good to us. Knowing that we have someone in our corner that is committed to understanding us and supporting us. Marriage gives you a safe place to be yourself fully.
4. Joy.
In life, we get joy from different things like accomplishments or hobbies, but there is another level of joy we get within marriage. It might sound weird, but we can get joy from choosing another person over ourselves and building our own family. It brings us a deep sense of fulfillment.
5. Commitment.
Marriage is the biggest commitment you will ever make. When you truly commit, it matures you and teaches you endurance and tenacity. You learn teamwork and how to choose your battles. And, you learn to be considerate and to manage your emotions — which isn’t easy.
Marriage may not be exactly what you were expecting, but it sure is worth it. It’s all about building with someone, but it takes time to build. With God at the center, you and your spouse will stand the test of time!
Click here to subscribe to our podcast, Becoming the One, for more content on wholeness, relationships, and more!
