Dating should be fun — it should be an adventure! But, it can also be confusing to know if your dating well. Knowing how to flirt and show interest appropriately, what to share and how soon, as well as when to let it go (If necessary). How do we know if we’re dating well as a Christian’s?
We all want to get to know people in a healthy way without crossing any lines, so that if we decide to part ways there are no hard feelings. But, this is very delicate. So, what is the best approach to avoid heartache and drama? Likewise, how can be vulnerable enough to form connections and guard our hearts enough not to prematurely “fall” for the person we’re dating?
Like everything else, we have to be strategic. It may sound a bit up-tight, but it can help us to keep things on track and avoid major issues.
Here are a few tips for dating well as a Christian.
- The call for clarity.
Be honest, how many hours have you spent with your friends trying to determine if someone was interested? Overanalyzing messages, checking social media for likes and comments etc. On one level it’s fun when we’re dreaming of the possibilities. But on the other hand, if our flirting leaves the other person confused, or we misinterpret their signals, it can get awkward.
Now, it’s true that nobody wants to set themselves up for rejection, but being clear with your intentions will save you so much time in the end. This doesn’t mean that you should be impulsive or jump into anything prematurely, but it’s okay to speak up if you’re interested. That way the person can let you know directly if they’re feeling the same way.
2. The call for consistency.
We all have different needs in relationships. Some people may think that talking everyday is excessive, while others may feel pushed aside if they don’t talk daily. After a few conversations you’ll get an idea of what type of communicator the person is — but don’t hesitate to let them know what your preferences are as well.
Now, let’s talk about ghosting. We all know that once someone expresses interest and then disappears, that something has changed. But, PLEASE don’t be this person!
If you’re dating and this happens to you, try not to take it too personally. Of course we hope that everyone we encounter will be forth-coming, but that’s not always the case. All we can do is take responsibility for our own actions. The bible says to treat people the way you would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12), same goes in dating.
And if it’s you who loses interest, do the right thing and let them know. I know right… super awkward, but it really is better than ghosting them. Anyone with a healthy perspective on dating will understand and be grateful for your honesty.
3. Call for confidence
Throughout the dating season, it is crucial to know who you are and what you’re looking for. Remember to see yourself as God sees you and set your standards high. Don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else, and never forget that we all have our own unique story written by God. Walk tall during every stage of your journey and learn all that you can.
You can build your confidence by spending time with God and other believers. Keep in mind that every single one of us are special, including YOU! So, when you realize that the person you’re dating isn’t the one, don’t let it frustrate you. Every encounter should be edifying and enriching to your soul. There should always be an exchange of light and love even if you end up parting ways. That way we always leave people off better than we found them.
Dating well as a Christian doesn’t have to be hard! Let’s enjoy this time in our lives by being clear, consistent and confident.
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