Believe it or not, you and your significant other are human, which means that you’ll need to continually grow and learn to make things last. There are certain relationship killers you might be unaware of in yourself that can hinder how you relate to people. The hard part about that is, you may not realize these character flaws until after you’re in a committed relationship. And by that time, you’re probably so focused on what your partner is doing wrong that you don’t see what it is that you’re doing wrong.
Listen, after the honeymoon stage is over, the real work begins. Even if things are great right now, eventually, you will get more comfortable, and some of those less than perfect qualities will start to slip out. But don’t worry, this is actually a good thing. This is where you get to see if you two have what it takes to get to the altar. Disagreements are going to happen, but what matters is how you respond to them.
Here are the top 3 relationship killers you need to get rid of to manage conflict in a healthy way.
1. Stubbornness.
Stubbornness at its core is a pride issue. It’s your resistance to change and a refusal to consider another opinion or perspective. The key to overcoming stubbornness in conflict is a healthy dose of compromise. You cannot expect your significant other to change all their ways to conform to yours — it is unrealistic! You are two different people. Be willing to listen to what they have to say.
2. Selfishness.
If you ever want to get married, you better get rid of selfishness. Covenant relationships require you to put each other first and make sacrifices. If all you can see is your side, how things affect you, you’re going to alienate your partner and end up driving them away. It can be challenging when you have another person to consider for all your decisions, but you have to start thinking as one if you want things to last.
3. Poor communication.
Some of our fights are due to simple miscommunications. You have to be willing to express your needs and concerns in a way that they can understand because they’re not a mind reader. While you’re dating, it’s easy to sweep things under the rug because you’re still living separate lives, but you have to start perfecting your communication with them now so that when you do get married, talking isn’t an issue.
Here are some quick tips for healthier conflict management in your relationship.
- Be honest about the way you feel, not passive agressive.
- Don’t involve other people in your arguments unless it’s a mentor you both agree to open up to.
- Never talk negatively about each other or hit below the belt.
- When possible, don’t hang up the phone or walk away in anger.
Don’t let these relationship killers drive the two of you apart. Talk things through and grow from them, and in the end, you’ll get stronger together.
For more like this, download our FREE eBook, “5 Stages of a Relationship Done God’s Way.”
