What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about “Christian” dating?
Many would begin to spew out all of things one should and/or should not do while seeking to court and eventually marry a mate. Whether cultural or Kingdom, a bulk of the usual responses to such an inquisition will be sound counsel for one to consider.
As a single person, you probably are tired of hearing married couples tell you “how to be single” including what to do in the meantime, how to wait, how to prepare, and the like.
Before you allow frustration to overtake you and cause you to miss the message, take a deep breath and check this out:
When seeking a healthy, God-sent marriage, it is important to understand that this will always be “worth the wait.” However, there are many aspects of the wait to consider — more than just not having sex. If you are who we believe you are, sex is not your primary cause in desiring a spouse.
You are probably in a place where you have accomplished or are actively seeking to accomplish Kingdom, educational, career, and personal goals, but find yourself still feeling as though you would love to share that with your life partner. This “wait” is no doubt different for males and females, and also differs based upon other demographics such as age group. Nevertheless, we are all in this waiting room of sorts, praying and living according to the Word as best we can while hoping to run into our husband or wife as we anxiously pace those halls.
Stop. Check yourself.
“The wait” does not start when you meet “the one”; it honestly began the first time you made the decision to consider getting out there and courting. The patience you require isn’t one that demands you hold your breath. It is an active patience: You do not have to wait to travel to that place, you do not have to wait to write that book, you do not have to wait to go after that amazing promotion! The one you have been waiting for will come in the midst of you doing what you are called to do. Do not grow tired of this reality — just stop thinking that you have to place your life on hold simply because you are single until married.
There will be times when you attempt to court and, possibly out of impatience, you end up discovering they aren’t the right one for you. We declare to you that TRUE LOVE WAITS. It may not be for the hardheaded individual in front of you at dinner, but it is for the hardhearted one you may be gazing back at in the mirror later the evening.
Your wait starts with you deciding that you are worth fighting for … that your purpose was in you before your desire to be a husband or a wife. Your spouse will not be depositing your gift, calling, or purpose in you upon arrival. You should come preset and equipped with these qualities. Do not pursue your purpose out of boredom or impatience for other things you may see as more important. Whenever you do something for the Kingdom, do it with your whole heart.
Declutter your well of expectations from unrealized passions!
Your spouse will think it is awesome that you have accomplished so much more beyond your breaking point as a single person. They will be the one you sit with and laugh until you cry about the many ways you fought to become who you always knew you were. The way you found yourself foolishly repeating your own folly over and over again in frustration to find your rhythm without theirs. The way you could not imagine never finding them along the way and how proud you are to look them in the eyes and confirm that they were always “worth the wait.”
Remember, you are in search of real love that will last for a lifetime — not something “microwaved” and instant-ready. This amount of self-work is not in vain but it also does not mean that you are the only one not prepared. Your mate may be struggling in similar or exact areas as you! Actively pray that they are overcoming as you are so that when you join together, your edges run alongside one another like puzzle pieces and that you are a complementary match.
This is a beautiful time in your life! We believe that you were appointed for a time such as thing to represent the Kingdom in the Earth and completely change the dating game. Have a sure election for why you are pursuing or being pursued by another. Be certain that your heart and head are sober and remain vigilant for the direction of your heavenly Father.
And, finally, never beat yourself up when things do not go according to your deepest desires; things just may be lining you up with your Father’s!
