You may or may not be aware, but the enemy knows exactly what you want in a spouse! He knows what you like and what to use against you. When you’re meeting new people, it’s easy to get caught up in your hopes of finding the ONE, but you’ve got to be careful! So, here’s how to spot a counterfeit.
Before we jump into it, let’s back up for a second. When you’re in your pre-game phase, working on yourself and getting close to God, you have to set your standards and determine to stick to them. Think about the character traits you’d like to see in a spouse and what they need to bring to the table. Once you’ve got this established, it’ll be much easier to let go of anyone who doesn’t fit the mold.
Now, hold on, don’t go making a mile-long list of must-haves that only Jesus himself could live up to. Be practical, and don’t overthink it because you’ll end up limiting yourself. Focus more on what values you’d like them to have and then go from there. For instance, what he does for a living may not be as important as his willingness to provide. Likewise, her ability to cook may not matter as much as her understanding or support of your vision.
Keep an open mind. Then, once you’ve settled on your standards and deal-breakers, you’re ready to get out there. It’s much easier to find something when you know exactly what it is you’re looking for.
Here are a few ways to spot a counterfeit.
1. Counterfeits pretend they respect your boundaries when really, they test them.
They admire your focus and desire for genuine partnership, but they look at it as a challenge. You become a prize to be won. Your purity refreshes them, but instead of being honest about where they are, they make it their business to get you to compromise. And usually, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s just a point of pride for them to get you to make an exception.
2. Counterfeits are only good on paper.
It’s important to note here that just because someone is a counterfeit, doesn’t mean that they mean you any harm. The enemy will use anyone to distract us and keep us from what God has in store. The counterfeit may be a great person, but of course, we want who God intended us to have. Sometimes we meet someone who checks off everything on our list, but for some reason, there’s no connection.
Knowing what you want in a partner is only half the battle. You’ll still have to get along with them and have some chemistry. If not, things may get stale.
3. Counterfeits don’t have any life direction.
This one may seem a bit strange, but not so fast. You can spot a counterfeit when you see that the person isn’t on the same page you are in life. Like you, they should be single and dating to marry. Both of you should have your list and be looking to find out whether or not the relationship has the potential to move forward.
There are some people out here dating casually just to hang out with the opposite sex. They enjoy meeting new people and spending time together, but they’re just not interested in settling down and getting married any time soon. There’s nothing worse than dating someone for months, thinking that you’re moving toward courtship and they’re just having fun.
Having the ability to recognize a counterfeit will save so much time. Don’t let your desire for love and marriage cause you heartache.
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