One of the biggest reasons why relationships fail is a lack of understanding. If you have poor communication in your relationship, it’s probably not going to last very long. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves, and it takes time to learn each other. If you’re having trouble with this, don’t worry — we’ve got you covered!
Many times you don’t even know there’s a breakdown in communication until things get serious. When you first meet, everything is easy and fun, and neither one of you have any expectations. You’re just excited to be spending time with someone you like. By the time any disagreements pop up, you feel blindsided because everything else was going so well.
Listen, this is completely normal when you’re moving beyond the honeymoon phase in a relationship. People have their own way of doing things and their own ideas about what you should be doing. The key is to come together and get on the same page.
Here are 4 ways you can improve the communication in your relationship!
1. Over-communicate.
Never assume that someone knows exactly what you mean or what you’re thinking. It’s not about you all the time! We all have a million other things going on in our heads, and it can be easy to casually mention things that we believe are self-explanatory. But you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment if you don’t make sure you’re clear.
2. Don’t be defensive.
If you feel like you need to defend yourself in your relationship, it means that there’s a level of trust missing. You’re supposed to be on the same team! A lack of understanding doesn’t always mean that you should end things. It just means that you’re still learning each other. You have to be patient during the process. When you’re too easily frustrated, it could be a sign that you’re not being realistic in your expectations.
3. Make time to talk, don’t be passive aggressive.
If you want to improve communication in your relationship, it’s going to take intentionality. Passive aggressiveness and silent treatments won’t get you anywhere. Remember, you’re partner wants to understand you just as much as you want to be understood. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Even if you have to get a counselor or trusted friend involved, do whatever it takes.
4. Learn how your partner communicates.
External communicators like to talk things out, while internal communicators need time to think things through. Learning how your spouse communicates will help you to find a middle ground, but it takes time. Listen, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and people are complicated. You need to ask questions and listen BEFORE you respond. Also, watch their patterns to better understand the way they receive and process information. If the bond is real, it’ll be worth it.
As time goes on, the communication in your relationship will get better and better. So, don’t give up on a good thing because you’re in a rough patch. Keep pushing and work through it together.
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