Getting through a divorce is probably one of the most challenging experiences some of us will ever have the misfortune of going through. It’s hard enough merging your two lives, but splitting up is that much worse. It can take a long time to mourn the loss, but when you’re ready to, here’s how to begin dating again after a divorce.
Before we get into it, it’s good to know that everyone’s journey and time frames are different. You have to know yourself and what you’re able to handle.
If you’re unsure, try therapy.
We get pre-marital counseling, so why not post-marital? Counseling is a great way to manage life’s big transitions better. This may not be for you, but it’s worth mentioning. Sometimes a professional opinion can keep things in perspective and help you to sort out your thoughts and feelings. They can help you figure out if you’re ready to move on and help you keep yourself in check while dating.
Remember that your insecurities don’t define you!
Marriage is the closest relationship you could ever have on earth. With that comes a lot of exposure, and many things get uncovered. The blinders come off, and you’re forced to see yourself and your spouse for who you truly are. Going through a divorce, you’re left vulnerable and wondering if anyone will be able to accept you. Listen, those insecurities don’t define you.
The beautiful thing about discovering hard truths about ourselves is that they help propel us to become the best versions of ourselves. We learn, we grow, and we change.
Tips for dating again after divorce:
Tip #1: Keep in mind you’re starting fresh!
This may seem odd, but it’s very easy to go into dating with extra baggage. After you’ve been with one person for a while, getting to know someone new on that level can be difficult. Just remember that this is not your ex. Don’t make any assumptions about their character before you’ve had the time to get to know them, and don’t compare them to your ex. Give them a fair chance.
Tip #2: Don’t rush to remarry.
If you’re not careful, dating after marriage can become a race to remarry — especially if you’re ex is in a new relationship. Even though marriage is the goal, it should be off the table when you’re just starting to date again. Focus more on meeting fun and fascinating people. Spend time doing the things you love with new exciting FRIENDS. Then somewhere along the way, you’ll spark a flame with someone and become exclusive.
Tip #3: Fall back in love with yourself.
Pamper yourself and give yourself some TLC. You deserve it! You’re an amazing person, and you don’t need to get married to feel that way. Create goals, learn a new skill, maybe find a new hobby just for fun. Why do we emphasize finding love and getting married when that should be the cherry on top! Learn to enjoy yourself fully because life is too short to wait for a relationship to come along.
For more like this, download our FREE ebook, “Dating After Divorce.“
