I could hardly believe that it was my turn to say “yes to the dress”! It all really didn’t hit me until I flew back home after the engagement to California and began to think of all of the natural and spiritual things that needed to be done in order for our engagement season to be fruitful.
Yes, you have to pick a date for the wedding, send out invitations, select your bridal party, etc. But you don’t want to miss out on the beauty of the season you’ve just begun. One of the definitions of engagement is “an arrangement to do something or go somewhere at an appointed time.” You know that you have an appointment and time to meet your soon-to-be husband. So, during the duration of planning and patiently waiting, there are things that can be done, character traits that can be sharpened, and understanding that can be found. Here are a few things that I focused on — and learned — during my season of engagement (so that I can pass my tips on to you!).
1. Take pre-marital counseling.
Even though Jamal and I were in two different states during our engagement, we still made it a priority to include pre-marital counseling into our schedules. It was one of the best decisions that we made; it allowed us both to be focused on the true purpose of why we’re getting married in the midst of the busyness that came with all of the wedding planning. The Bible clearly states in Proverbs 15:22: “Where there is no counsel, purposes are disappointed; But in the multitude of counselors they are established.”
2. Relax. Seriously.
While planning my wedding last year, I had moments where I was nervous, scared, and even anxious. At times I allowed those feelings to overshadow what God had already done or was doing in my midst. Be thankful for what you have, don’t compare your proposal, ring, wedding venue or site to your neighbor’s. Express what you desire to see on your wedding day to God, your fiancé, and to those you are entrusting to help make your day special. Once you do that, relax and watch it all come together. Philippians 4:6 says: “In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
3. Consider the future.
You and your husband will need to be able to survive financially after the wedding! Don’t go into debt for your wedding. In the beginning this was extremely hard for me. My mindset was “I’m only getting married once.” Ha! This is true, but you want to use wisdom. There are so many different and cost effective ways to have a beautiful wedding day. Whether you have the funds to go all out or not you want to use wisdom and invest in the things that you and your fiancé really desire to have on your wedding day, remember that the day is about your marriage more than it is about your wedding. So, when you all are heading home after your honeymoon, you all won’t miss a beat! Ecclesiastes 7:8 reminds us: “Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.”
