So many of us struggle with inner emotional conflict, when what we’re feeling contradicts what we know to be true. It can be really frustrating having to fight yourself to reconcile those thoughts and align them with the truth of the matter. But when we do, we can increase our emotional intelligence.
If we’re going to live by faith (and not by flesh) we have to be emotionally intelligent. We have to make sound decisions and have the right attitude — even when everything in us feels justified not to. This means that we intentionally walk in maturity and wisdom. It means we surrender our will for God’s will.
We have to remember that our emotions are driven by temporary situations and events. If we get a raise at work, we feel happy and excited about our efforts being rewarded. Likewise, when a loved one dies, we feel sadness and we mourn over that loss. When things happen we’re able to physically express our reactions through emotions, and that is a beautiful part of life! But, when we allow temporary feelings to control us, our lives become unstable.
Faith despite emotions.
When it comes to the desires we have for our lives, we can become emotional in moments when it feels like our faith is unfruitful. Some days we’re full of hope and strength, knowing that God will deliver. While other days we feel faint and question everything we thought we believed in. But guess what… that’s normal!
We are not perfect and that’s why the bible says “My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:8). We have to let go of the idea that we’re always going to feel great about everything going on in our lives. Living by faith is supplementing our limited sight and understanding for the omniscience of God. This is emotional intelligence. It’s perfectly okay to have ups and downs, but be mindful about how you react and recover.
React and recover.
If you’re having an off day and you cope with rebellious decisions and sin, you are not using emotional intelligence. You have to remember who you are in Christ and that those temporary fixes wont last. It doesn’t make any sense to put yourself through the guilt of doing something out of anger or bitterness. Plus, when you do it’s more likely that you’ll continue down that path.
It’s more difficult to recover after conviction than it is from the discomfort of fighting your flesh. So, think long term before you react. The best thing to do when you’re feeling tempted to go out and medicate your pain, is to cry out to God. Cast your cares on Him. Vent, whine, cry, scream — whatever it takes. You are going to feel so much better in the end and you’ll build up your spiritual strength.
Tips for emotional Intelligence.
If you know that you struggle with this and you want to get better, there are a few things that you can do. At TOU, we believe in community, and you need an accountability partner. Someone that you trust with your heart. This person should have the same goals for spiritual integrity that you do, so that they can give you sound advice and support during moments of conflict.
Secondly, you should do your best to be proactive. On the days when you’re feeling your best. Praise God, consume the word, and pray for strength for the harder days. Edify yourself, because it acts as a reserve when darkness tries to take over you. You’ll be surprised at how those scriptures will come back and flood your mind when you feel down and need them the most. Lastly, don’t forget you can do all things through Christ and if you fall — get back up and press on.
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