“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Proverbs 27:19
Have you ever looked down into a clean pool or clear waters to see your reflection?
I can recall helping my sister and her family move into their new home last summer. Outside their home sat a filthy pool, trashed by the previous owners. When you looked down into it, it was so dirty that all you could see floating in the water were leaves, newspapers, and trash that had accumulated. It was disgusting!
A few months had passed, and I went to visit my sister again once they had settled into their home. The pool was clean and the water was so clear this time around. The light of the sun was reflecting in the water, and as it hit the surface, I could look down and see my own reflection.
That’s how it ought to be when God looks down on us. When we pursue purity and remain pure in Him, He sees the reflection of His Son’s light reflected in us.
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines purity as: “lack of dirty or harmful substances,” and, “freedom from dirt or impurities.”
Purity is a challenging aspect for all believers living in this world. Both men and women struggle with remaining pure. Although men may be more open about their trials in this area, women struggle with it also. It is so hard trying to remain pure in a world where promiscuity is glorified! Just like all the problems we may face in this life, the issue starts within our hearts. But, it is possible to overcome! Read on for three helpful tips.
1. Guard your heart.
Anywhere and everywhere we look in this world, we will find sex being sold at any or all cost. From commercial ads to movies, music videos, and songs, we are bombarded with messages of how “love” is defined. What we are usually required to do in order to gain this “love” is to give up something valuable. Sadly, we often find the cost was for only a momentary or temporary pleasure.
It’s so discouraging because we are all expected to sell ourselves for a temporary gain or momentary attention. The world will try to break us and make us like the rest. We were not called to do what the world expects, but what God accepts.
“Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable — if anything is excellent and praiseworthy — focus on such things.” Philippians 4:8
The problem of impurity has more to do with the hearts than it has to do with worldly influences. We live in a fallen world, filled with worldly purpose, and that isn’t going to change. Our hearts however, can.
We have to be willing to clean out the clutter we allowed into our hearts and minds, and also be willing to allow God to clean out our hearts as well. Then we must guard it from any image, temptation, or thing that will cause us to stumble.
Some ways that we can guard our hearts is by renewing our mind through reading His Word, through prayer, and also by turning off and turning away from that movie, music, or thing that may cause us to stumble. Sometimes that “thing” can be a person too. People who don’t know there is value in your faithfulness will tempt you. They will try to turn you away from keeping your way pure in order for you to “prove” your worth to them.
2. Know your worth.
I once was talking with a group of colleagues about relationships, and one the guys said to me, “I’d be afraid to date someone like you. It scares me how pure you are.” That made me realize that the world puts negative outlooks on good things. That’s not your fault!
Just because someone fails to see your worth doesn’t mean you change yourself or cave into the temptations of sin to prove it to them. Compromise is the beginning of destruction.
Everyone won’t understand your worth because it’s not meant for them; it’s meant for the Lord. Don’t compromise who you are to try and win them. They live by a different standard, and place their value on temporal things — not eternal.
Your purity costs too much.
Know your worth, and let them know there’s no bargaining the value! You were already bought with a price.
3. Do not grow weary.
We all have different convictions in our godly walks. As women, one of the most convicting things is our comparing ourselves to other women, then trying to fit the world’s definition of what “worthy” should be. We women sometimes fail to see that we were also made in God’s image, and our worth should be found in Him.
We desire to be valued, and we want others to know the struggle we have been through to become who we are. Often times that goodness we have obtained through godliness is viewed negatively by the world. The world will ridicule you for purity — things that have not been tainted by man. (“You’re too nice!” “You have NEVER slept with someone?” “Wait … you’re a virgin?”)
Their challenge to us is to overcome the good that comes from pursuing purity in godliness. But don’t grow weary! Continue to pursue purity and fight for godliness, forsaking the world and its temporal pleasure. We shouldn’t give every man who approaches us attention back because we fear that we will miss out. Through perseverance we will win and gain what’s meant for us. We are called to wait.
Honor God. Rest and trust in Him alone. He will fight for you (Exodus 14:14). The right man will see your worth in Christ. He will honor you like Christ does. He will see that you have persevered through all the trials. He will say “thank you” for waiting, and for not giving up or caving in when so many others have failed you or tried to make you something you are not. Be still and Wait for the one who isn’t afraid of what you are, and Whose you are. He will value you as Christ does.
